The Franklin Force: August 2010

Well kids, the time as come. The time of the last game-inspired Franklin blog of the year. And oh, what a fun season we've had. 5 rings in a row! Can't get over it. Dynasty doesn't even come close. We have pwned the CCSL for half a decade. That's uberpwnage! So let's recap the fun of the past 2 weeks.

The All star game

Well, we sent Mickey, Adam, Candy, and Alice officially, but sent Buddy, Pickle, Nick, me, Ed, on top of that. Maybe others. The Management was drunk. Ed struck out. Good work Ed. Way to finish the season in stride. The Management almost struck out Brian Willmarth on a very hittable 20 foot arc pitch with 2 strikes. Sometimes the sun shines on a very pale white ass. Our side won, of course, and the Jeremy-less Tap Room had to settle for one more loss on the year. Just tack it on.

The Fan Appreciation Game (FAG)

Well, let's just say that Whiskey reared its super awesome head. What a great add! Phyllis Rabbit and La Nice showed up as did Nevins and free-agents to be Hanlon and Heather. Not a tremendous out of team showing but still pretty good. The rule of the game was that you had to be "at least this Buddy" to hit with a drink in your hand. So we did. And the Management had the best hit of the night when he popped a ball into left that made Pickle plow right though Memorial Nick. Terrific. Just terrific. Giggling ensued. Everyone got bombed and had a good time. We think.

Friendly against the Cherry Potters.

Well they talked a lot of shit, but in the end, pussed out of their bet. Good thing too otherwise we probably wouldn't have let Buddy try to lose the game. The Management drank rum before, during, and after the game. A new game of "destroy the base coach" was invented. And Lynch went 0-4 again to bring him up to 0-8 against the Forcs on the season. We totally Bensoned him. Yes we did. Cherry waitress Amy wouldn't talk to any of us before during or after the game. So it's safe to say that she'll be on the Tap Room next year. Possibly the Bad Touch. Pickle batted fourth. Buddy made us go to 18 fields before he settled on one. And Pat Wittwer looked like a kindergarten watercolor. Good times. Food at the Cherry was better than usual. The Management signed autographs for a full 9 seconds.

Quotes

Don't remember a lot, so send 'em in.

"That redhaired girl scares me."

Fordo

"Pat Wittwer is so orange that small children take bites of him after soccer practice."

Pickle

"Signs we're not trying anymore....Pickle is coaching 1st."

Timmeh

"What's a hard creamer?"

"Here, let me show you."

Barb and Pat

"I'd watch porn over anything!"

Phyllis Rabbit

5 championships in a row! Hell yeah! Took a game longer than usual, but here we are in the winner's circle again. Still feels great. We can't hear as well as we did when we only had 4 championship rings in our ears, but we'll take less hearing to enjoy the PBR Golden Shower one more time. In the words of the Late Memorial Nicholas Ventrola, "Yay!"

Recap
Wow, what an interesting night. But first let's talk about the game. Final score 12-6. Not to be confused with Fordo Baggins' "6-12!" screams. 12-6, although wasn't that close. It was 3-3 after 1. Then three innings later it was 11-3. A Tim Marino misplay and it was 11-6, but that was all she wrote. Let's see. We gave them 3 runs in the 1st and they gave it right back when right fielder Jake S. dropped a routine fly ball from The Management. Another error followed on Adam's groundball and the next thing you know, 3 runs were in for the Champs. Of note, The Collar scored 5 runs in the first inning of Game 1, 8 runs in the 1st inning of Game 2, and 3 runs in the 1st inning of Game 3. That's 16 runs, Math enthusiasts. They scored a total of 23 runs in those three Games, meaning that they scored over 2/3 of their runs in the 1st inning. Wow. Weird too. We scored 29 runs but only 7 were in the 1st inning. The Forcs know how to close games.

The Good
We won! We won! We won! Series MVP Nicholas Ventrola went 2-4 to hit 9-13 for the series. In contrast, Vellia had no hits. What a loser. Very few errors in this game again. Defense played superbly.

The Bad

Some bad baserunning again. Ugh. Why? Why? But in the end, who the fuck cares? 5! Also, Robby broke our trophy in such a display of sourgrapesmanship, that apparently he was immediately offered a 5-year deal by the Tap Room.

The Franklin Mystique (Formerly the Ugly)

Down 4-3, the Collar knew it was over and brought out the big guns. Stoli Orange shots and Crown Royale w/ Cheese were being pounded on the visitor's bench. And with good cause!

Lumber Liquidator Studs of the Game

Me! Cause it's my 5th championship, 1st as a coach and I haven't been a stud yet

Memorial Nick, $2800 worth of car damage, 9-11 at plate

Candy, yay! candy!

Everyone else except Benson

Cialis Boner of the Week

Mat

ty, holy fuck where are you going at 2nd base?

Drunk Words of Encouragement

"World Fucking Champions!"

Some douche

Paul Watch

Found! Or at least Memorial Nick said he was. More on this development

Quotes from the Game

"That's why they have so many tatooes....to cover up the bruises."
Ed about Alice

"I remember that trunk."
Pat, somewhat disturbingly

"Don't come to Cherry!"
Memorial Nick to Collar wenches

"Where the fuck are your buttons?"
Phyllis Rabbit to La Nice

"That's because alcoholics don't get up at 8 a.m.!"
La Nice

"Stroke my beard!"
Buddy to Pickle

"I'm still bombed, so I'm sure I'll get there. Do you know your blood type? May need a liver donor soon."
"Blood type red?"
La Nice to Memorial Nick

"Just so you know, steroids are illegal in the CCSL."
Phyllis Rabbit

"Yeah, no Tim, nobody remembers your strikeout now that you gave up a 3-run triple."
Memorial Nick

"I fucking love Shark Week!"
everybody

"This is what happens when you come into

someone's bar!"
Robby, channeling Joe Pesci

"So Ed is gonna go in to hit in the....Holy fuck! You guys are doing shots over here?"
"Get out of here, asshole, you're not welcome here."
Management to La Notso Nice

"Don't dick with Nick."
Ed Fagner

"They broke the fucking trophy?"
Commish

"I come downstairs, pick up my phone, and there's not a single drunk or obscene text. How is that possible?"
Nevins to everyone in his phone

"Nip slip!"
Management, certainly not about anyone from the Collar

"I'm pretty bombed, do you think I should go in?"
Sabin

"If P&P wins the Commissioner's Cup, I appoint Rob or Bandana Frank to snap its head off."
Fordo Baggins

"Benson will drop by and call the game."
Willmarth

"I need beers from both sides, Ryan!"
Alvin and the Tap Room

"Who's umpiring tonight?"
"The shortstop from the Tap Room."
"I don't know who the fuck that is."
"Really? Really? You don't know?"
"No, who is it?"
"Al."
"Ooooh..........Al."
Matty P and the Management

"Who wants to do body shots?"
Phyllis Rabbit, circa 4 a.m.

"You know I love the Collar, they are a bunch of good people, but there will be no friendships on that field today! Those fuckers are going down!"

Buddward

"Buttload of runs, handful of dog balls."
Pickle

"Who else is there?
"Pete Alice Jason Jake."
"Who the fuck is Jake?"
"Just come, ass."
Buddy and the Management

"Stay black."

MN to Buddy

"You smell like what it's like to be in love."

Management to Nick

"Is the blindfold your underwear, Phyllis?"

"Aw, C'mon, you know she's not wearing any."

MN and Pickle

"How many strippers can we get for the FAG?"

Management

"Where was Alyssa tonight? Lesbian gymnastics pilates?"

Management

"You're the stoner MacGuyver!"