I love this league. Emails from the league.

"'Nevins drops a routine pop fly from Adam.'

Seriously? When was that, exactly?

Because the only ball Adam hit my way, when he wasn’t trying, like the rest of you, to hit it to females and the aged, was the one that landed about 20 feet behind 2^nd base that I dove for. Routine? What game were you watching?

Frankly, the only “routine” balls I saw muffed were at shortstop, and they weren’t by Donlen."

Funsies.

**The Management would also like it noted that Mr. Nevins is correct. The Franklin shortstop did make 2 errors in the game and has subsequently been flogged in the town square in front of his loved ones. He has expressed remorse.

Week 8 (or something): Orcs 18, Fordo Baggins 10

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CN7CgK_bRdc


Ever notice that Bob Ford looks an awful lot like a hobbit? Makes you wonder. So last night, The Forcs were unleashed on the hapless Penciltuckians for a final of 18-10. The Management didn't think it was that type of onslaught, but, to each his own opinion. The Forcs played great outfield defense and hit the ball around controlling the game for almost the entire night. Stats not taken by us suggested that the top 5 Forcs scored 16 runs. That's good. It also suggests that hitters 6-8 had a bunch of RBIs which is better.

The Good:
Hitting was good but not great. We came out strong in the first by putting up 6 but didn't really score again until the 4th when the score was 8-6. After that, we pulled away. Defense was good all around with probably our most solid team defensively that we've put up this year. Funny how everyone shows up for some games but not others (Tap Room?). Specifics, let's see. The Management remembers some of the evening but the PBRs were certainly flowing. Memorial Nick had a bunch of hits as did Pete. Daddy Matty played well coming back and showed his non-Nevins speed by stretching singles into triples. Candy had some nice hits and pitched well. Ed got a nice hit but then of course was gunned down at 2nd for trying to impersonate Matt but really impersonating a Marino. All around good play down the lineup.

The Bad:
Not a lot of bad. Just lost focus after we got up in the 1st inning. The Management is certainly indicative of that. So not so much bad as funny. Pickle fouled out off the 1st base fence. That's funny. Ed got hosed at 2nd. That's really funny. We want a video of that. Come on Ed, where exactly do you think you're going? Nevins was almost gunned out at 2nd by a Nick-Courtney duo. That would have been amazing. And the Forc outfield pulled an Art Museum and roved a fair amount.....which was weird. The Management also tried to make 8 substitutions at the same time in different spots in the 4th inning of an 8-6 game. We won't be doing that again.

The Franklin Mystique (formerly The Ugly):
George Miller was so terrified of Ed Wagner that he forgot to swing. This was payback for stepping on the Management's PBR tallboy which usually means war. The Management remembers Ed throwing at Miller in response for the attack. You don't waste beer! Fordo Baggins also took himself out pitching after 1 inning. That's knocking a pitcher out of the game, folks. And minutes after mocking Nick for not throwing him out at 2nd, Nevins drops a routine pop fly from Adam. Karma.

The Lumber Liquidator Player of the Game:
Candy Graham, couple of hits, broke her "getting hit by the ball" streak of 2 games. Congrats!

Paul Watch:
Locals spotted him walking through the forest and stopping at a garbage can near Dairy 2 to investigate. Accounts are conflicting.

Quotes of the Game:
"You see, I stretched that single into a double."
Nevins to Nick

"Hey, is this guy who stretched that single into a double?"
Nick to Nevins every 5 minutes for the last 4 innings.

"You might as well put on a Pirates hat."
Fordo Baggins to the Management as a result of the roving outfield

"Who do you want to put in? Me or Chris?"
"Ugh, you decide."
The Management deciding on which Marino we want to pop up in the 5th

"Whatever you want, Skip."
Some Douchebag who doesn't wear a hat and gets bad jumps in right field

Week 6 Recap: Academy of Natural Sciences

So, we showed our depth last night and had a very solid win over a very young team given the fact that the majority of our regulars were out. There were shades of '03-'04 Franklin in the Academy (Eastern State Pentitantry). Some members of the team that do not normally get chances at big time PT took advantage of the opportunity and played very valuable parts in the 19-3 rout.

The Good

There was a lot of good, nay, great to be had from this game! We possibly have a new shortstop for next season (sorry Ryan, but if you leave, we need to move on) in that I offered Juls from the Academy the chance to play for the Force because of her unassisted three outs in the bottom of the 5th. As for the game, we had a very solid, all around effort. We clicked on all cylinders last night - defense, offense, pitching, everyone stepped up! Pickle had a great game at the plate with two dingers! Courtney and Candy contributed with timely, clutch hits at crucial times! Newbie Charlie and Oldie Buddy both made great plays in the outfield. Renardo played through pain to have a solid all around game, it was a very impressive performance from the Force, one that made Interim Manager Drunk Nick very proud. Great job Force.

The Bad

Nicks drinking problem (or solution depending on how he looks at it). We had some chances to clamp down on our defense and we made a few (and a very few at that) silly mistakes in the field. Moving forward, against the elite in the CCSL, we cannot afford those mistakes. Also, last night was the first time that there were two double plays turned against us off of fly/line outs. The first was a fly out by me to right field which Chris (because of his "older brothers score keeping") thought there was two outs and took off from 1st. There was one out and I promptly yelled to the firstbasewoman to tag first to get the double play. The second was a seed off the bat of Charles Muhler to Juls at Short, who easily had one of the many great plays she had on the day by tagging out Pickle (whom looked like he was auditioning for Dancing with Stars) for the unassisted double play. We need to not have these mistakes happen. Way to go Nick, Chris and Pickle! We should all take a page out of Chase Marino's Baserunning for Dumbies!

The Franklin Mystique (Formerly The Ugly)

The weather, for it seems like Primary Election day will be had by Mother Nature. And we play longer into the Summer!

The Lumber Liquidators "Stud" of the week

Pickle - for his power display and not his base running display

Courtney for her glove work at the 2 bagger

Candy - for yet again taking a line drive off a part of her body, and FINISHING THE GAME!!!

Quotes of the week

"I hope I am saying those same kind of things around my kids!"

Mickey about choice comments from the proud Marino fathers

"E6!"

Tim about his younger brother's early inning boot.

Shifka watch

Still no Paul. He may be too pretty for Franklin Institute softball anymore. Good for him!

-Memorial Nick

Notes around the league

Parity parity parity. New Commissioner Edward Wagner's (clubedventures.com, yes, the Management was paid handsomely for this endorsement) salary cap has really brought the league some much needed equality. So, for those who don't know, two of the 3 Tuesday games were completed in the rain begging the question of why all 3 were not completed? The Collar beat the Zoo by 2 runs in yet another barn burner by the Zoo who really seem to be hard luck losers. The Zoo has lost by 1 run to the Art Museum and 2 runs to the Collar. The Collar now have 3 wins and are poised to upset the Forcers. Their schedule does get harder from here. In the other game, the P&P Red Inks (worst name ever) beat the former 1st place Art Museum by 2 runs. This helps the P&P mightily as the Art Museum had just defeated the tap Room last week. Art Museum captain Ray Solis claimed to have a depleted squad that night so the Management will withhold judgement until next Tuesday when we collide with them. It should be noted, however, that the Art Museum is chomping at the bit to get another crack at us and several mentions of their playoff loss last year were mentioned.

Additionally, as has been noted, the Force will be depleted on Monday against the Academy of Natural Sciences. Please make every effort to make that game as we do not want to forfeit. For those Forces who have been splitting time with big turnouts, this is the perfect opportunity to play an entire game in the field.

Updated scores and standing can be found on the P&P blog because as Captain Bob Ford has noted, we are a lesser blog. The Management blames the schools....and Tim Marino. We also blame Phyllis Demo for not supplying nude photos to increase blog traffic. This applies to Mark Nevins as well.

Week 5 Recap: Sending a message

We came for blood and that's what we got. Franklin 21 BTM 5 on a sunny evening at the Belmont Plateau Monday night. We haven't been playing our best softball but we sent a message to the league that we can still put up the Vellia Penis numbers (i.e. crooked). Moreover, the other teams will now tremble at the mere thought of facing the behemoth of the Center City Softball League. Everybody showed up for once. Everyone got to play at least part of the game. The Management was thrilled. Moving on.

The Good:
Well, just about everything went right with the outcome. We were up 9-4 going into the 6th and put up a 5 and 7 spot to finish off the night. That's how you finish games. The runs come in bunches. Individual strong performances from the top of the lineup. Adam had some key hits but hurt his vagina running around the bases. Points for taking his Midol and playing through the pain. Pete had a couple of strong hits, focusing on the mediocre outfield which routinely misplayed doubles into triples and homeruns. Memorial Nick finally lived up to his 4th place in the batting lineup delivering multiple hits in a row. Father Matt picked up where he left off scoring on a sac fly to 2nd base and Renardo showed up somewhere in the gloom to continue the fine hitting he displayed last year. Down the lineup showed that it could carry its own as well. This is exactly how you score 20, keep turning the lineup over and getting those 2 out hits. Ed had a couple of those, Pickle got a hit, Mickey played a strong 3rd base even breaking his hand into 47 pieces, Buddy was well, Buddy, and Candy picked on the right side of the field with ease. Even Alyssa got on base twice! Congrats team. And the PBRs certainly tasted a lot better after a good old fashioned rout.

The Bad:
Have to say it, but that game should have been 40-2. Too many popups against a mediocre fielding team. Hit the ball on the ground and let them sort it out. Newbie Chris Marino (yup, we had to mention it only because you're a Marino) hit very well but dropped a ball in the outfield that fortunately led to no runs, but a couple of other miscues led to unearned runs. They certainly didn't hurt us today, but they will against the Tap Room or whatever else passes for 2nd best in this league. Early in the game was a little shaky, but once we got a lead we played much looser. The Management might also attribute this to increases in blood alcohol content. Either way, the end result is more than acceptable.

The Franklin Mystique (Formerly The Ugly):
Not a lot to say, the BTM was certainly up for our game and brought their usual 'brand' of softball. So, we'll say this is the FM, once the Academy forfeited their game against the Tap Room, Tap Room outfielder John Benson (a common whipping boy on this blog) texted the Management asking if we would like to scrimmage with them. Obviously, the Tap Room felt that the Force could still win that game even missing a few players.

Quote(s) of the Day:
"I hope my kids watched Nick play the outfield instead of me. I don't want this Marino name dragging them down throughout their lives."
Chris and Tim Marino in unison

"Did you see that, Buddy? I totally pickled all over that ball!"
Pickle

"Where is that dude with the Pirates hat? Doesn't he usually pitch for this team?"
Memorial Nick

Week 4 recap: The Collar! Sorry, no nudity

Well, kids, in what is turning out to be a strange year for CCSL softball, we currently stand at 1-0 after week 4 because of our suspended games against the Tap Room and last night's 6.5 inning affair against the Collar of Bishop. We are currently leading 10-6 in the bottom of the 7th with runners on 1st and 3rd thanks to the Shortstops retarded idea to keep playing in the pitch black. Sometimes there are consequences to 9 PBRs, who knew?

The Good:
Well, similar to our game against the Tap Room, we didn't hit well overall and scored only 10 runs, 3 in the 7th. Adam had some nice hits as did Pete. Pickle had a hit and scored in the 7th. Our defense was strong, with newbies Ryan Fonio and Liz Palmer filling in nicely in the infield. But we think the best thing of the day was that it was New Jersey Day! And they look freakin' sweet. Thanks Pete!

The Bad:
Well, first and foremost, Candy took a groundball to the face. That pretty much killed our morale. We hope she's doing well and look forward to her commenting here and saying that her new forehead isn't as big today. In softball business, the Collar played their best defense of the year so far. TFI had to deal with the usual yapping from Donny Money and Phyllis "didn't get naked" Demo so there was nothing new. Collar Spirit Coach, Denise, played the "I have 2 kids be nice to me" card which certainly messed with those of us who were expecting Angry Denise who used to yell for no reason. Jeff played pretty good shortstop for them. That didn't help either.

TFI Mystique (formerly The Ugly):
actually goes the other way as Collar 3rd baseman Jacob Schulz maliciously and callously injured our star pitcher. He should be booed whenever seen and be forced to undergo anger management classes.
honorary mention: Donny, for not learning where the left field line is.

Quote(s) of the day:
"I think we should make out anyway, even though the game's not finished."
-Laniece to Phyllis

"Candy looks too comfortable out there, I'm gonna send a message."
-Dr. Jacob Schulz

"Why is my name Pickle?"
-Pickle

John Rambo Jr.

http://web.me.com/mpetruccelli/Coming_in_April/Home.html


Meet the newest member of the Force! Congratulations Mere and Matt Petrucelli!