I'm buzzing the tower on this one! yeah I don't care that we're up 17 runs in the 3rd inning, I want to preserve the shutout against these losers. My pitcher has a 3 hitter going, which means only one hit per inning so far. Yeah, I minored in math in college.
I'm buzzing the tower! I don't care if I overthrow the backstop, people will just think, "wow that guy must work out." and i do. a lot. What can I say, I like to show off my body. I'll even do cock pushups for my one night stands.
Come on batter, get a hit so I can buzz the tower! It's boring out here. My pitcher likes to get inside the batter's head and outsmart them, which means it'll be 20 pitches before he throws anything near the mat. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming out here. Daydreaming and adjusting myself. People think I'm often adjusting my jock strap because my hand's always in my pocket, my really, my penis is so small, I have to keep making sure it's still there. And sometimes I'll talk to myself while waiting for my pitcher to GPS the mat.
I'm not sure if you could tell, but I wear UnderArmour wifebeaters. Yeah you can't get them regularly so I specially order them. What happened was that I sent in a picture of myself because I know a guy at UnderArmour, from craigslist,
and when he saw what a stud I was, he let me in on the secret wifebeaters.
My friends bust my balls, but I don't consider it gay to send a naked picture of myself to another dude, because we're fans of each other. If you're fans of each other it's not gay to exchange naked pictures. We're just admiring each others' bodies. I think busting balls is gay, because just think about it.
And I don't care if the photos end up on the internet because if people see them, my chances of making the cut for the CCSL calendar will only increase.
So I was thinking about seeing the new Winnie the Pooh movie this week. Maybe I'll take a half day from work and go to the matinee to avoid the rush. I'm technically not supposed to be that close to kids, (I personally like to keep a 500 feet minimum distance, because of the fact that seeing breast feeding makes me gag, or that's what I tell myself anyway), but that's only if you ask the justice system. Don't ask, and don't answer if asked, I always say.
I wear cutoff sleeves when I can. People always say "Look at those pythons," but they should say look at those antaresia maculosas if they want to be specific. One of those Penn science dorks taught me that.
I'm soooo bored. Hey, did you know that the Arctic Ocean is the smallest ocean? I read that this morning on my Peaches 'n' Cream oatmeal packet.
I buzzed the tower on that one! Oh shit, no one was on second or third. Oh well. Hey! Check out my antaresia maculosas!
