Crap Room Recap

Meh. I know I've started out these recaps with meh. before. But seriously, is there a word that best describes that feeling? I think it'll always be meh. It's the same feeling Buddy must get every time he wakes up. Meh. Oh, and this photo to the right is one of very few that I ever get sent of people actually in the stupid league. Meh.

Recap

So, we lost. Our worst lost of the season. 14-9 I believe it was. Edgely 8. My memory of much of it is hazy after a week. But here's what I remember. It was a back and forth game for the first couple of innings, not so much in terms of score, but more in the scoring. They would get 2. We would get 1, they would get 3, we would get 2. The difference I feel, and MMN felt differently, was that they got scoring up and down the lineup while we didn't get any runs, and few hits, from 6-10. And I think that was the difference through the first 5 innings when they held 2 or 3. I think it was 9-7. Something like that. Then, the Taproom Ogre hit a 3 run homerun in the 6th to extend the lead to 7 and that was that. Franklin mounted a comeback in the bottom of the 7th to cut it to 5 but it was too late. Luckily we still hold the tie breaker against them, but it likely won't matter and we'll either be the 3rd or 4th seed. Meh.

The Good

Played well all around but not good enough to win on that day. First 3 hitters were 6-6 with 6 runs scored after 2 at bats a piece. The problem was that it took 4 innings to get those 2 at bats. Also, the bottom of the lineup produced in the bottom of the 7th with 3 straight hits to turn it over with no outs. You could see the veins popping on Alvin and the Taproom's forehead.

The Bad

Defense was generally good with a couple of miscues. But, it's slow pitch softball. The think the problem was that usually, we play around our errors and we rarely pay for them. However, on that night, every error turned into a run and then our defense had to start pressing. So we made a couple more with people trying to do too much. Also, we are currently 2-2 on games which involve Benson fights. That guy needs some Midol. Also, their 2-hitter specifically targeted Pell with a linedrive. He may have been Jewish I guess.

The Franklin Mystique

After their obvious lack of sportsmanship, the Taproom was rewarded by the softball gods by having Fishtown Benson's keys get locked in his car. Karma is a word that is thrown around so cavalierly these days so I won't use it. Instead, i'll point to the notion that the Taproom is -10 in run differential against the Forcs when Willmarth is there. Boom Math!

The Lumber Liquidator Studs of the Week

One-legged Pell
Anybody?
Bueller?

Paul Watch

Following the arrival of the Taproom Ogre, the Paul came out of the treeline to nervously observe the much larger predator. Once an apex carnivore in his own right, the obviously timid Paul became much more self-aware. The once prominent biceps seemed a little smaller, the neck, a little more apparent, and the sleeves almost seemed to hang slightly past the shoulder. After he had taken his fill of the scene, the Paul slowly withdrew into the shadows of the trees like a memory of something not wholly forgotten, a crude outline of the distant past.

NASDAQ Trade of the Week

Can I trade in this awful segment for once that doesn't get a Billy Joel song into my head every week?

CIALIS Boner of the Week

Black Marino, where the fuck are you going?

Collarblog Syntactical Error of the Week

None, Flynn changes that "blog" less than I change the real one.

Benedict Pickle's Historical Reference of the Week

June 28th, 1940 The tomato is proven non-poisonous. This brings up the age-old question, "how many minorities do you have to kill with a vegetable until it's considered non-poisonous?"

Ed's Movie of the Week

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, 1998

Phyllis' Retro Porn Movie of the Week

Romancing the Bone, 1984

Management's Scientific Explanation of the Week

How are fossils made? Good question, Bobby. Fossils are a product of luck. They require special circumstances in order for the remains to survive. And when I say remains, it's actually a bit of a misnomer, as a fossil contains negligible amounts of the animal which is now mirrors. Fossils animals can be found frozen, imbedded in tree amber, or preserved in substances such as tar. But the traditional fossil found in rock occurs like so. An animal dies, usually, it dies near a source of water such as a river basin, the bottom of a lake, etc. The reason for this is that the fossil requires rapid (within days to months) sedimentation upon it. This is necessary since predators, erosion, etc. are likely to disturb the fossil remains or destroy the bone before it has a chance to be embedded in rock and fossilize. Fossils are often covered by extreme events like mudslides, volcanic ash, and flooding that cover the remains and prevent them from being eroded. Over time, more layers of sediment are deposited upon them, all the while the flesh, hair, and degradeable materials are eaten away by bacteria within the sediment. The bone is slowly replaced by calcified minerals such that when the bone is uncovered later by erosion, digging, etc. the bone is actually mostly gone and what you're left with is an imprint of that the bones looked like and how they were arranged.
The more you know.


Quotes from the Week

"Hey Frank, you look like shit!"
Julio

"Still waiting for Kyle's Koaching Korner."
Everyone

"I love the Black Widow! And you can quote me on that!"
MMN, and I did

"Did the quesadilla work?"
MMN

"The torch has been passed."
Chandra about Pell

"Pell, we may have to take the leg."
Mickey

"Would you like my whole pickle?"
"Yes, I would."
Buddy and Pell

"Nice lego Batman!"
Kyle Jacobs

"Blah!"
Pam

"How the fuck did you lose to the Taproom? They're awful."
December Ford

"Ogre smash!"
Ogre

"Haha Nick! You made an error!"
Benson

"That's not my power alley, Benson."
Managment

"I am 0 for my last 30."
Verne