Finals!.....of the Playoffs!

And here we are, peeples, exactly where we thought we'd be. However, we didn't think we'd be the home team

playing the Collar. Congratulations to the Collar. Now they have to play the big dog.

Day 1

Recap of the final game

against the Fart Museum. Well, on Monday night, the Farties jumped out to a 4-0 lead. They hammered the ball. Had about 8 hits, and should have scored more than 4 runs in the top of the 1stexcept for the amazing catch by Pete that led to the double play to end the inning, stranding runners on the corners. Disaster averted. After that, it was all Forcs and rain. A bizarre evening. The Forcs scored 2 in the bottom of the 1st, and then 4 in the 3rd. The Farties got one hit in those two innings as Injurygraham, correcting a technical glitch in her pitching mowed down the lineup on the strength of a motivated infield defense. With rain looming in the middle of the 4th and the Farties going down in order again, a break in the action was proposed and both teams ran off to shelter and beer. During the rainstorm several odd things happened. 1st, Fart Museum females danced around in the rain much to the delight of everyone there (except Pickle), 2nd Ed Wagner trotted across the field to the SPTR/Collar game instead of a) driving or b)bringing his cell phone. He also got the scorebook wet. Then, an unnamed Tap Room outfielder, let's call him John B. Wait, that's too obvious, let's call him J. Benson informed us that their game was cancelled. So we cancelled our and the Farties could not have left the field faster. 30 minutes later, the rain stopped and the SPTR/Collar game resume. WTF! So we had to suspend our game and pick up the next day. Remaining Forcs went over to the SPTR/Collar game and watched the SPTR fail to make the finals for the second time in 3 years. Yikes.

Day 2

With the score 6-4 in the bottom of the 4th, The Forcs went down in order. Followed immediately by 9 straight outs by the Farties. The Forcs added 3 more runs for good measure and won by a final of 9-4, not needing our final ABs. The Farties had one baserunner from the 2nd inning on. In softball. In slow pitch softball. In coed slow pitch softball. Woof.

The Good

Pete, 2-3. Matty, 1-1, Chris 2-3. Chandra nearly perfect for 6 innings. We won the game and get to go to the finals. Yay! Infield defense, amazing. Outfield defense hit their cuts and made all the plays. The Management was quite impressed.

The Bad

Rain suspended game was brutal and The Management took it out on his liver. The hitting was spotty. We lacked a consistent offense attack and needed errors and bleeders to get the 9 runs. This must improve for Monday against the Collar. 9 runs is not going to win that game. Chris got thrown out at the plate with 2 outs by about 20 feet. That was terrible. Also partially The Management's fault. But really, the game was well played by the Forcs except for the absence of the powerful innings that has been so typical of us in years past.

The Franklin Mystique (Formerly The Ugly)

In another shameless attempt to bribe Fordo Baggins, Fart Museum captain Ray Solis tried offering him an evening with one of the lovely ladies from the Museum. When Barb and others refused to be used like that, Ray resorted to offering up Darryl. Fordo thought for a minute, then refused the offer saying, "If it ain't Phyllis, I ain't listening." CCSL sexual harrassment officials are looking into the incident.

Drunk Words of Encouragement

"I saved Latin! What did you ever do?"

-Rushmore, and really, what have you ever done?

Cialis Boner of the Week

Benson, just Benson

Lumber Liquidator Studs of the Game

Chandra, 7 innings 4 runs

Mickowitz, flawless 3rd

Pete and Chris, big RBI hits with 2 outs, twice!

Paul Watch

With the news outlets feverishly hurrying to get a shot of the Paul and trucks and media crews huddled around his hole, The Paul emerged for a brief moment to survey the scene. He looked around and finally looked down and saw the shadow of two large sleeveless forearms. Minutes later, he vanished back into the hole probably to resume writing wedding invitations. Local headlines later that day ran the story, "The Paul Emerges, Sees Shadow, Only 6 More Weeks of Beach Workouts."

Quotes from the Game(s)

"Wait for it! Wait for it! Wait for it!"

Buddy, seconds before ripping ass on Memorial Nick's jersey

"Tighten up that cup, Buddy, you're gonna need it!"

La Nice

"I'm sorry, the word 'snatch' just makes me laugh."

Mrs. Buddy

"You got my sloppy hand seconds."

Pickle

"They let him play because there is a ball stuck to your face."

I have no idea

"If Buddy was made of ribs, would you eat him? I know I would. I'd smother him up in relish and brown mustard. He'd be delicious."

Harry Carey

"Your team is so mean. You keep hitting balls at Barb."

Fordo

"Then I put it in my mouth, and everybody's happy!"

Pat

"That's the maximum you can stack on a cart."

Ed

"Really? Really? Really?"

Previous Nick

"Pam, yours is the Buddy of dogs."

Management

"I'm not relevant to this game in anyway."

Nevins

"6-12! 6-12!"

Fordo, at Edgely 8, four hours after the game, alone in the dark

"Why can't you play short like that on our other team?"

"Cause that's Benson's team, and I don't like him to win."

Willmarth to the Management

"I think I was safe."

"You probably also think dogs can't look up."

Chris Marino and Memorial Nick

"Candy owns me!"

Memorial Nick

"I wouldn't get anything from the water cooler. It smells like kids in there. I'm not saying that they peed in it. But I'm also not saying that they didn't."

Random dude

"All Buddy does is grow hair and fart."

Pickle (also applies to Ed)