Hoagiefest!

Apparently, there was some softball played on Tuesday night. Who knew? So to recap the events, The Management had half of the buffalo chicken hoagie which was good but not as 'ridiculously hot' as Kyle "I can't hit beer cans" Riley thought. What a puss. The Management also had some of the Italian late and was denied some of the pork hoagie because Brian Willmarth is a dirty bastard who doesn't know how to share. On to the softball. We won both. We won the bottom of the 7th in the suspended game from sometime in February and we also won the nightcap. Oddly, these were our two closest games (along with the tap room) that we've had this year. 10-8 and 7-6. We are 2-0 in 1-run games. Boo-yah! I still hate you Stuart Scott. The bottom of the 7th started with no outs and a 10-6 score with runners on 2nd and 3rd. 1st pitch, single to left. 10-8. Awesome. Good start. Next batter pops a fly ball to left that goes over Ed's glove into a sliding Adam Siebert's webbing. So surprised that he caught it, Adam doesn't realize the runner on 1st is now at 2nd and misses the opportunity to double the hapless Jeff off 1st. 1 out. Next batter singles. Ground out to short. Runners on 1st and 2nd, 2 outs. Next batter singles. Bases loaded, 2 outs, tying run at 2nd, winning run at 1st. The lovely Phyllis Demo, CCSL social chair who is currently vying to be the 1st ever not-Franklin winner of the Nick Ventrola Memorial Awareness Award, up. Knuckling linedrive to short which is absurdly bobbled by the sober shortstop. Flip to 2nd. Game over. Delicious. Second game was a low scoring, sun filled boring game that ended 7-6. The Collar led 6-5 after they hit in the 5th. We had the top of the order coming up. Lead off hitter Marino pops up. Somebody better than Vellia pops up. After a double, Memorial Nick pops up. Franklin fails to score. Things are looking dire. Collar doesn't score in the 6th after some great defense. Pete pops up to start the 6th. The Management goes over to get the ulcer medication and two PBRs. The top 5 hitters, in the most crucial time of the game go 1-5. Not good. But then, like Paul coming out of the forest, the bottom of the lineup comes through. Mickey gets a hit, Ed gets a hit, Candy gets a hit, Tucker gets a hit. Alyssa gets a hit. We score 2 runs and leave the bases loaded on a line out double play. And we got to the top again. The Management loves it when the bottom of the lineup scores runs cause then we win. Pure and simple. The Forcs hold off the collar in the 7th and win 7-6. Yay! Hoagies for everyone. Except Benson. He sucks.

The Good
Long recap, covered all the good hitting. But the defense was superb on a bad field. Adam's sliding (yes sliding Nevins!) catch in the 1st game literally won it. Mickey had 3 hits and we need them. Jason played some great 1st. Courtney yelled at the shortstop as usual. We drank and ate until 12:45 in the morning. That was absolutely ridiculous. Holy balls that was a long night. 6 teams showed up. A fantastic showing. Ed was bombed. Fordo Baggins was bombed. Nevins was asleep at 9:15. Tim Marino.....yup, bombed.

The Bad
2 wins, not too much to complain about. Didn't hit all the well overall but it was a very bad sunfield so whatever. George Miller did maliciously interrupt our game for 2.5 hours with the worst soccer display since US v. Ghana. Willmarth didn't share his hoagie. Vellia showed up which was bad but went 0-2 with 2 errors which was good.

The Franklin Mystique (Formerly The Ugly)
We'd like to give it to George Miller but really, it has to go to Jake Schulz of the Collar. Scheduled to bat 3rd in the suspended game, Jake fails to show citing "stress and a complete inability to come through in the clutch." He spent the entire evening cuddled up in a blanket at home, stroking his cat, drinking warm milk, and saying "not the Franklin, not the Franklin, not the Franklin" over and over again. Sometimes it's really sad when we break people's spirits.

Lumber Liquidator Studs of the Week
Siebert, sliding catch
Phyllis, hoagies
Bottom of the lineup, winning game 2
Benson, no, just kidding, not Benson

Paul Watch
Peering through the trees on Dairy 2, a hulking mass with 5 arms, no wait, make that forearms, observed the softball scene around 11 pm EST. Eyewitnesses at the scene could not identify it conclusively as the Paul but one Ryan Vellia (age 19) was quoted as saying, "I was so terrified I peed my shorts. It was just all arms and no neck. It had an uppercut swing and flowing locks that made me remember when that bird hit Fabio in the face. And it looked right through me. I think it stole a hoagie. Oh i was so scared. I held Benson so tightly and waited for it to leave. I cried for hours that night." Others were quoted as saying "Of course it's not The Paul. If it were here, you'd know it!" Another source said, "It can't be. Nobody heard it talking about itself in the 3rd person." Associated Press called this "just another Paul hoax" and "people are just using this as a publicity stunt to get Memorial Nick his own spinoff team." Motorcycle treads were found at the scene but police could not find any conclusive evidence.

Quotes

"If you give us 2 wins, Laniece and I will kiss."
Demo

"I'll give you 2 wins!"
Vellia

"Shut up, Vellia."
Memorial Nick

"Hey Donlen, we're playing a game over here!"
The Management

"No pecks, Phyllis, we need saliva transfer."
Tim Marino

"Nobody hates a team that is 4-9."
Fordo Baggins

"You can't have any of my hoagie, ass!"
Willmarth

"12:40! I think this is a new CCSL consumption record!"
Fordo

"I'm so glad I'm not out having fun with my friends, Anne. Let's watch the end of Wheel of Fortune and then go to bed."
Nevins

"Stay on your own field George!"
Memorial Nick

"I'm having the best time! Spring Break!"
Ed

"Look at all the little Collar nerds."
Buddy

"Where is the holy fuck is Pickle?"
Injurygraham

"I'm a short little piece of crap that no one likes and some people actually spit on."
Vellia

"You know Ryan, you've only made one game so you're not playoff eligible."
"No, he can play, if you show up once and go 0-2 with two popups no one would ever complain about you playing against them."
Unknown

"You know what they call me now? An older fatter Vellia."
Benson

"Pinch hitter for you Vellia. Courtney, get in there! But you can only use your left arm!"
The Management, proudly

"Nice managing!"
Denise

"You're a way better coach that anybody else in the league."
A very very very drunk Tucker v. Tuckerson

"You better freakin' beat the Art Museum."
Frank Luzi

"Real blogs have the standings and scores up. Not your pussy underling blog. Fucking amateurs. I'm a professional writer goddammit!"
Unknown P&P coach

"Seriously, we'll do it for the two wins."
"I'm not giving you two wins for just that! Let's negotiate. I'm gonna need making out for at least 5 minutes, and there needs to be some cuddling. Maybe you smell her hair a little. And Buddy doesn't get to watch."
I think everyone knows who said that

"People read your blog just like they read Philly.com."
Anonymous to Fordo

"Reading the Tucker's Wyld Ryde is like eating a mouthful of wasabi raisins."
everybody