Second Art Museum Hootenanny

Where the fuck is Matt Pettrucelli? Seriously? Is he the new Paul?

So last Tuesday we beat the everloving sweet piss out of the Fart Museum....again.....again. At this point, it's really like stealing Manhattan from the Native Americans. But don't worry, it's just a 'friendly' whatever that means. So how did we do overall? Good and bad. It's preseason and The Management doesn't keep preseason stats. Newbies Adam Wojnotgonnaplayhere, Gonzo, Suzee with two E's and bunny ears over the Z, and The Situatjim came and were all immediately cut so we had room for Paul's biceps. Ed was there. No wait, he was still drunk from his pub crawl and had to have 4 vaginas pumped from his stomach earlier in the day.

So what did we learn?

Buddy NEEDS a hat...and several potent breath mints

Ed is on the verge of booze-induced Alzheimer's

Bryan Rice can blackout better than everyone not named Phyllis

Wojnotgonnaplayhere can't catch a ball unless he tackles it first

Fordo Baggins is jealous 'cause we put up our blog faster than him this year

Ray looks better in a Pirates' hat......but is still "a bum, Rock. You're a bum!"

La Nice showed up at the bar and immediately complained about the lack of "jailbait"

Avec C still sucks at Street Fighter.....and anal.

Substance Cookies are always fun

Fart Lisa stepped up her preseason CCSL fantasy ranking by drinking like she's the Scientology version of Bryan Rice

Nate Dogg died. Sadness. In memoriam, from Wikipedia:

"On a cool, clear night (typical to Southern California) Warren G travels through his neighborhood, searching for women with whom he might initiate sexual intercourse. He has chosen to engage in this pursuit alone.

Nate Dogg, having just arrived in the east side of Long Beach, seeks Warren. On his way to find Warren, Nate passes a car full of women who are excited to see him. Regardless, he insists to the women that there is no cause for excitement.

Warren makes a left turn at 21st Street and Lewis Ave, in the East Hill/Salt Lake neighborhood, where he sees a group of young men enjoying a game of dice together. He parks his car and greets them. He is excited to find people to play with, but to his chagrin, he discovers they intend to relieve him of his material possessions. Once the hopeful robbers reveal their firearms, Warren realizes he is in a less than favorable predicament.

Meanwhile, Nate passes the women, as they are low on his list of priorities. His primary concern is locating Warren. After curtly casting away the strumpets (whose interest in Nate was such that they crashed their automobile), he serendipitously stumbles upon his friend, Warren G, being held up by the young miscreants."

Pour one out for the homeys.