Practice! Practice?

Well, kids, let's talk about practice.

We had our first practice of the year on Tuesday. It's odd that Captain Memorial Nick called such a practice after a 2-0 preseason start, including two thumpings of the Fart Museum. But, this is a new regime, and since the Management would like to keep his role as team blogger, he begrudgeonly changes his tune. All hail Memorial Nick! He is all that is right! Long live the proletariat! Down with the bourgeoisie! The Management feels that Lenin Ventrola will lead us to a better tomorrow!

And, on we go. Who came to the practice you might be asking yourself? Well, not the turnout as either of the scrimmages, but still managed to get 10 on the field. And one of the Forcs was in midseason form. Who was it you might ask? Was it Buddy? No, he was home fornicating himself with a hockey stick. Was it Pete? No, he was home getting slapped around by Alice. Lucky bastard. Was it Vellia? Probably, although we can't be sure cause we didn't hear anyone whining like a Benson and getting carded at the movie theater. It was Candy!!!! Injuring herself by spraining her ankle. Vintage. Out 3 weeks. We're just kidding Chandra. Love you, get back soon. Not going to be the same without you.

So, what actually did we learn? Hittingwise, not much. The reason for that is because Ed threw an unhittable round of BP. Even Nevins wouldn't have thought he was as awesome as he thinks he is. And I can rip him, because he's in Florida right now probably golfing and wearing pants up to his nipples. So, Ed is being heavily considered for the starting SP job until Chandra gets back from rehab. Does this mean extra playing time for Buddy? No. It's Buddy.

Practice next Tuesday at some field. For those who want bp, we're hitting tomorrow at Edgely 8. Still no word on a Cherry scrimmage because Buddy was in charge of this. So that answers that. Our first game is April 19th against the Collar. This is a Tuesday. It is also the Management's birthday. Bring gin and expect to get tore up.

Quotes of the week

"Ed, do you know who I am?"
"You're Alice's husband."
"I'm Alice's husband???"
"No, you're her father."
- a very drunk Commissioner to the Management

"More boobs, please."
La Nice

"I'm only coming if we practice and don't scrimmage."
Pete, who didn't come when we practiced

"Am I the new Paul?"
Matty, but no one was around to know if he made a sound

"Who wants to smoke that pile of old clothes?"
Fart Lisa

"Who the hell are these people?"
Injury Graham

"That looked horrible. I mean, I'm actually sick to my stomach after watching her roll her ankle like that. I heard a pop."
"Yeah. That sucks. But it's only like #15 of Candy's Best of Reel."
Adam Wojnotgonnaplayhere and someone who certainly is not The Management

"Why didn't anybody tell me we were playing?"
Benedict Pickle