Buddy Facts

Buddy once got really mad at a horse and gave it an uppercut to the jaw........that's how giraffes were created.

Buddy does not wear a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Buddy.

Buddy does not lick postage stamps, he stares at them until they wet themselves.

Buddy does not want to be cool. Cool wants to be Buddy.

Sega made an arcade game once where you got to fight Buddy. Every time you put a quarter in, the screen immediately displayed, "You lose." It was Sega's most popular machine ever!

Buddy doesn't leave messages on voicemail. He leaves threats.

Buddy doesn't flush the toilet, He scares the shit out of it!!!

Buddy grew a beard at the age of eighteen....Seconds!

Buddy leaves messages before the beep.

Buddy was the original Danny Tanner on the hit family sitcom Full House. He was replaced by Bob Saget after an unfortunate incident with one of the Olsen twins.

Buddy can text from a payphone.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Buddy can actually take your beer and drink it yesterday.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Buddy out. It failed miserably.

There is no such thing as evolution, there is only a list of creatures Buddy allows to live.

Buddy is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Whenever Buddy makes a joke, the sound of an audience laughing comes from out of nowhere. Buddy will then turn to you, smile and give you two thumbs-up. After that, everything freezes; even you are unable to move. The laughter turns into music as credits begin to scroll down from thin air. Finally, your sight fades to black and there is nothing. When you regain your vision and mobility, Buddy is nowhere to be found.

If Buddy is late, time better slow down.

Buddy will not be at Cherry Street; Cherry Street will be at Buddy.

Buddy frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Buddy will be at softball tonight, Game 7 will start when Buddy is ready!