Game 5 Recap: FAM-tastic!

Good all around win, kids. Final score was 15-5. Right on the heels of the 17-7 win over the Zoo Troopers. That's means, for you math majors, 32-12 in the last two days. Strong work. We currently sit at 4-1, a game back of the Fart Museum who we get to play next Tuesday. That will be funsies. They may get shut out. But anyway, back to the Fleisher which I can only assume is Norweigian for "one who grounds out to Ed," the translation of fleis naturally being to "invite unsolicited on rafting trips."

Recap

The FAMbees came as advertised. A new team, with a lot of missing pieces and unfamiliarity with how to win in the league. I'd say they were a young team, but their average age is probably about 63 given one ridiculous outlier. We hit the ball like we usually do, scored runs whenever we wanted to, and talked shit to just about everyone. On throwback jersey night, the Forcs looked just like their old 2005 asshole selves. Good times. 15-5. Didn't need to turn it on. Everyone played.

The Good

Everyone played a lot and played well. Hitting was good and defense, except for Chris Marino, played superb. The Management pitched in relief and, of course, was filthy. The split-fingered 10-foot slider was hitting all its spots. Memorial Nick set up The Management for a first inning grand slam, which like the true legendary softball player he is, tried as best as he could to hit into an infield fly. That's teamwork! Buddy got his "hit" so he didn't have to shave off the rapid possum that lives around his face. Mary threatened ball cutting instead. Benedict Pickle was oddly aroused.

The Bad

Not too much bad. Chris Marino decided not to wear his big girl pants that day. Odd. Derm tried to tell everyone how great he is at Scrabble, everyone else decided to remind him that he sucks at everything else except getting drunk, missing ground balls, and getting drunk. The Management got nipple twisted by Tina. True story. Very very disturbing.

The Franklin Mystique

After losing the game, FAM pitcher Tina walked up to Buddy and said in a rather aggressive tone, "you and me in the parking lot, 10 minutes." Buddy looked nervous but 10 minutes later walked to the parking lot where she was waiting. She took out an object, witnesses couldn't tell whether it was a key or a knife and handed it to him. Buddy took it without a word and walked back to the bench. When asked about the object, Buddy informed the team that it was a hotel key, and he was to give it to Mickey and that Fordo Baggins would be driving by in 5 minutes to take them to a Howard Johnson's off of Rte 1. He was also to bring a scented candle.

Lumber Liquidator Studs of the Week

Pell
Ed (beers this week)
MMN (4 wins this season)
Buddy (retains the beard)

NASDAQ Trade of the Week

Management traded a purple nurple from Tina for a look of shock and despair. It was an uneven trade.

CIALIS Boner of the Week

Unfortunately, it's not team related, but the Collar laid a hard-boiled ostrich egg against the Fart Museum. Complete weaksauce.

Paul Watch

FAMbee coach Nikki-6 asked about the Paul watch after the game. MMN took her aside and said if she really wanted to see Paul, she should go home and say "No sleeves" 3 times into the mirror. Complying, Nikki-6 did just that, but instead of seeing the Paul, she was immediately put on the Edventures mailing list.

Benedict Pickle's Historical Reference of the Week

May 10th, 1864, Colonel Emory Upton leads a 10-regiment "Attack-in-depth" assault against the Confederate works at The Battle of Spotsylvania, which, though ultimately unsuccessful, would provide the idea for the massive assault against the Bloody Angle on May 12. Upton is slightly wounded but is immediately promoted to Brigadier general. I'm not sure Phyllis has ever done the Bloody Angle, but I'll lay my money down on the "Attack-in-depth."

Wagner's Movie of the Week

Hope Floats, 1998

Demo's Retro Porn Movie of the Week

Rambone the Destroyer, 1985

Pounder Tag Season Update

No games were played. Contestants took a week off to ice their beers.

Quotes From the Week

"Yeah, she twisted my nipple. I didn't know if I should give her money afterwards."

"Goddamit Joe! Catch the fucking ball!"
A very animated Nikki-6

"How are you losing to the Art Museum????"
MMN to Robbie

"I'm an Arian-American."
Pell

"You're not shaving me!!!!"
A very very VERY Sandy Buddward

"Why you gotta laugh at me?"
E-6

"Does everybody remember my catch yesterday?"
"No!"
Timmeh and the team

"I'm still a stupid drunk with no complexion and the inability to not pop the ball up."
Rice

"I don't know who's gonna stab me first, Tina or you."
Management to Nikki-6

"Shave him! Shave him!"
MMN chants from innings 2-5

"I like this team, they don't have any Bensons."
Ed about the FAMbees

"If Ron and Tina got together, would they create a gateway for Zuul to come through?"
A very thoughtful Mickowitz

"I'm a perfectionist, Buddy."
Ed


"Buddy looks like the poster from Hangover 2."