Week 5 Recap: Humility is a Lost Art

Well, well, well, another CCSL game is in the books. The Forcs had a chance to take a share of the lead but fell a bit short at the end, losing to the Fart Museum by a score of 12-10. For the second time this year, the Forcs had to endure a tough early start only to come so close at the end. We trailed 8-1 after 3 innings. This, if you recall, is eerily similar to the Collar game which, after a strong second half, we lost by 1. But hey, we usually win the close games so the expectations are high. All in all, it was a good, well-played game that could have gone either way. More on that in a moment.

Recap

With bitterness in their hearts, the Farties reluctantly agreed to play on a perfectly fine Edgely 4 that the Management, with help from Mickowitz and Brett Favre, had raked for 30 minutes prior. Complaining was rampant, apparently only 84 degrees with a slight breeze and a chocolate fountain nearby is the only way to play softball. When the game started, however, the Forcs dealt with a tough top of the first inning on a rain soaked Edgely 4. A misplayed fly ball by the Black Marino led to a leadoff triple. This was followed by a sacrifice fly by Verne Siebert. 1-0 Forcs. This was the last time we would lead. It was also the last hit till the fourth inning. The Management lined out hard to 1st and Memorial Nick hit a one-hop seed to 3rd to record the third out. After the throw to first, the 1st baseman had to spend 10 minutes with a rag to wipe off the shit on the ball that had collected after Jeremy had pulled that ball from so far up his ass to make that play. The Fart then scored 4 runs on routine singles, 3 of which could have been avoided if a long foul ball to right field had been caught. 4-1. Top of the second wasn't much better for the Forcs as they went 1-2-3 with their 5-7 hitters up. Not good. All popups or easy plays. No runs for the Fart in the 2nd, so still 4-1. Forc hitters 8-10 then went 3 up 3 down, leaving Ray's hitless streak at 9 consecutive batters....in slowpitch softball. Weak doesn't even begin to describe. The top of the Fart order then scratched out 4 more runs to run the score to 8-1 even though Avec C can't count and thought it was 7-1. Then, went it all looked like it had the makings of a Grade 7 Shitstorm, The Forcs woke up. A hit for Renardo, a hit for Verne, a wind-aided field goal homerun and a MMN homerun and the Forcs had a quick 4 runs back. But that wasn't it for the hitting, next 4 hitters scored another 3 runs and all of a sudden, the score was 8-8 and it was looking like a great come-from-behind victory. Then, just like it came, the fun stopped. The Farties scratched out 2 runs in the 5th and 6th while the Forcs could only just watch as Memorial Nick squandered a 2-out RBI opportunity in the top of the 5th. The Forcs then went down in order in the 6th leaving the bottom of the order up with a 4-run deficit. Then, just as the rain had ceased earlier in the day, a faint glimmer of hope appeared from the mud. A two-out base hit for Tim Marino. A 2-out base hit for Renardo and Adam, and just like that, it was a 2 run margin with 2 outs, Verne on 1st and the Management up. Another hit! 2 outs, 2nd and 3rd, tying runs on base, go ahead run at the plate in one Memorial Nick. And, however implausible and unlikely it may have been, to whatever gods or demons you pray to, to countless hours of atrocities on CNN, with the game on the line and the miracle maker at the plate, alas, the Mighty Casey struck out.....or popped up to left in this case, for the second time. No heroes on that rain-soaked field, just men and women, and the failed dreams of empty PBR cans.

The Good

Well, what can we take from such a bitter loss? Again, teams cannot run away from us. They can get a lead but our defense is stellar and we fight and battle to the last out. Every time. That's why we won 5 times in a row. Not because we blow out teams or because we have significantly better players. But because we play consistent softball. We have fun. And we expect to win. Didn't happen Tuesday, but it will again. These are the games that make the season worth playing.

The Bad

Well, he told me to be harsh, so I'll try a little. The four hitter can't go 1-4 when nobody else is hitting. But still, we had our chances. It came down to a couple of plays. I moved Adam Siebert in from right center only to have a wind-aided 2 run Ray homerun sail over his head just out of reach. I'd like to have that one back. Also, some miscues on fielding balls in the outfield hurt. But in the end, I think that 9 straight outs was the deal-breaker. So hard to overcome losing 3 innings. So hard.

The Franklin Mystique

Well, as I said, we just don't go away. As coach Ray Solis said when they led by 2 runs with MMN coming up in the 7th with the tying runs on, "Oh, Fuck!" That pretty much sums it up.

Lumber Liquidator Studs of the Week

Chandra
Renardo
Pete (bizzomb to deep right)
Jason (hitting consistently well now)

NASDAQ Trade of the Week

Following the heartbreaking loss, Memorial Nick traded in his old automatic car for a new standard vehicle so he could work on being clutch.

Also, he traded in his Chevy for a Cadillacacacacacacacacac.

CIALIS Boner of the Week

Tim Marino. Trailing by 3 runs with two outs in the 7th, he decides this is the absolute best time to take off from second to go to the third when the ball scooted away from Rice. The throw, the ball, several passing motor homes, the North American plate, and several glaciers all beat him to 3rd base. He was saved when Jeremy dropped the ball after the tag. I'll say it again, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING?????

Paul Watch

Locals in Greenwich, NY were terrified when a unknown entity strolled down the street at 2 a.m. and into a "house of pleasures." Police were summoned and it was soon determined that it was not The Elusive Paul, but rather it was Paul Reubens, settling in for an evening of erotica. Everyone enjoyed a laugh and sigh of relief.

Benedict Pickle's Historical Reference of the Week

May 17th, 1536, 4 of Anne Boleyn's "lovers" are excuted. If they were La Nice's lovers, they would have been found with their heads chewed off.

Wagner's Movie of the Week

Not Without My Daughter, 1991

Demo's Retro Porn Movie of the Week

Edward Penishands, 1991

Pounder Tag Season Update

Postponed, due to rain and raking

Quotes from the Week

"and he receives 3 kisses from the Princess...and a pair of socks. As is tradition."

"Ponytail Ken is out buying animals."

"Remind to make sure my kids know how to add."
Management to MMN

"Your child violated my girlfriend!"
"I heard she liked it."
Mickey and Timmeh

"Can someone please tell them that they're not in the Big Leagues?"
Alyssa about the Farties

"Did poodles shit on the field?"
Mickey

"I'm sad cause my new girlfriend likes Ryan more than me. They even have their own handshake!"
Rice

"Can't hit a single? What about that, fucker?"
Kyle Jacobs to Management about his scouting report

"Now you have something to blog about."
Ben

"I like to watch the monkeys at the zoo have sex."
Pell

"I miss La Nice. I haven't been this bored since before puberty."
Demo

"You guys are in trouble."
Thanks for the support Fordo

"See I don't suck. I brought lots of beer this week."
Ed

"Bunny Marino is gonna keep having kids until she finally has one that doesn't suck at softball."
Benedict Pickle

"I watched all of Rambone last week. I still don't get the plot."
Buddy

"If you ever do this again, Nick, Buddy gets to shave you."
team

"I can't believe we won! I have the biggest erection right now!"
Avec C

"Okay, I'll come back to your place, Ray."
Jeremy

"I don't think I said one word this game."
Barb

"My asshole hurts."
Rice